By Sarah Francis
A model claims her botched boob job caused her implants to disappear under her collar bone and made her feel like a monster.
Amanda Marsh, 31, decided to get bigger boobs to boost her confidence in photoshoots but regretted her decision after the a pocket formed.
Rather than staying in place, the implants moved around and slid under her arm pit, leaving Amanda with a gap under her nipple.
The glamour model from Orlando, Florida was forced to undergo corrective surgery so she would no longer have to hide under baggy t-shirts during intimate moments with her partner.
Amanda, a psychology and social work student, said: “I was always overweight as a child and teen, and when I began to lose all of the weight, I realised I had almost zero breast tissue.
“The women on my side of the family would tease me, they would joke that a bra was the only thing I needed a size ‘small’ for. Truthfully, the smallest bras in stores did not even fit me.
“I found myself keeping my shirt on during sex, because I felt so terrible and weird about my body.
“I personally found it impossible to feel feminine, sexual, or attractive with a completely flat chest.
“I felt apologetic every time I was touched, especially if I dated someone new. I felt incomplete, lesser.
“Finally, it was because I am a nude model in a world full of models. I realised, after years of working hard to lose weight, to change my appearance, to find the confidence to stand in front of a camera, that I really enjoyed creating this “persona.”
I loved the images I was able to create, but the breast size issue was always something that stuck out and almost absorbed each picture.”
Three years ago, Amanda decided to go for a boob job and at first was happy with the results.
She said: “I remember waking up, looking down, and seeing my new shape – even under bandages.
“I was in total disbelief and over the moon with happiness.
“For the next year or two, I worked out at the gym even harder, booked more photo shoots and really took pride in my appearance.
“I stopped dressing like an insecure teenager, and began dressing in a more feminine way. Mature, confident, sexy. Shopping for bras and lingerie became one of my favourite things, because I’d never really done it before.”
However, soon, she began to notice that the implants moved and would slide under the skin.
She said: “The day I realised the implants could slide up and under around my collarbone was when I knew something was wrong.
“I realised I could feel a ‘sliding under the skin’ sensation as one or both implants would move over to the side.
“Not only did the implant disappeared entirely, but a cavity was created where it normally sat, around my pectoral muscle.
“The implant settled entirely in my arm pit, and could be manually pushed back up to its original position easily, painlessly.
“If I pushed it back into place and let go, it would just slide (fairly quickly, easily) back into my arm pit.
“I became incredibly aware of this.
“It took all of the new confidence away, and left me feeling deformed and embarrassed.
“I joked about this with intimate partners, but inside it killed me.
“Getting photos back to review and narrow down was a nightmare; I immediately had to scan them to look for the implants being too far apart, sliding over, sliding up around my collar bone.”
Amanda found it hard to wear bikinis and be at the beach for fear her implants would slip.
However, when she returned to her surgeon, he denied that anything was wrong.
She said: “I was entirely caught off-guard by the entire nature of the visit. He shrugged and he told me they still looked great, and some moving around was normal.
“He wrapped up abruptly by telling me that it wasn’t something that could be fixed.
“I told him I “felt like a monster,” and at this point I regretted having the surgery done at all.
“He asked if I needed to see my “before” picture as a reminder that I did not want to “go back to” what I looked like before.
“Not listening, he removed a print-out of my before picture and handed it to me. He told me that they look great and way better when I’m sitting or standing up, and that I should be happy with the outcome.”
Not satisfied, Amanda decided to get a second opinion with Dr. Oppenheimer and booked a surgery two weeks later. Now she is finally proud of her body.
She added: “I have never been so relieved or validated in my life, since having this fixed.
“I feel so much more normal. Proud of my body. Not constantly worried or paranoid or regretful. It’s been a game changer. I’m so sad I didn’t do it sooner, and thought I was stuck with the mistake.
“I wasted years and a dozen or more photo shoots with a deformed chest, but I’m so happy now. It couldn’t have worked out better.”